CSG

What's the deal with creepy guys who work at Subway sandwich restaurants and think I want them to hit on me? Now, to clarify...it's not EVERY Subway employee of course. There are actually only three such guys that I can recall. And this is not a bash against any normal people who work at Subway, or any other sandwich place. Subway is awesome and delicious. But still...WTF?

Creepy #1: Back when I lived in Naperville, there was a Subway almost right across the street from me (by the DMV if you are familiar with the area). This guy actually outright asked me if I was single. I wasn't. Add to the equation the fact that an older woman who was quite possibly his mother was standing right there on the sandwich line next to him...this seemed like an inappropriate conversation. And even after saying that I did have a boyfriend he said, "Well...I own my own business," with a really big f#&king smile on his face like he was super proud of himself, and that he thought I'd be super impressed, that his life's dream involved nothing more than making sandwiches. I think I did the smile-and-nod thing, got my sandwich, got the hell out of there, and never went back.

Creepy #2: After I had no interest in going back to see Creepy #1, I started going to a different Subway (Market Meadows), where this new sandwich guy didn't flirt with me too hardly...it was mostly just creepy, ogling looks and smiles. It prevented me from going there very often, but at least he didn't actually try to impress me via conversation and awkward questioning in front of his mom, so it was somewhat acceptable to deal with.

Uncreepy: I got super lucky when I made the move into my now-husband's house. There is a Subway literally behind our house, and it's run 98% of the time by a woman who is nice, but thankfully not into small-talk (as I'm not either). And even when the guy who works there comes out from the back to help on the line, he is very nice and has never shown any bit of inappropriate interest in me. He is only interested in making my sandwich.

But every once in awhile, I am in the mood for a breakfast sandwich from Subway. I have typically been going to one right by my office (State, north of Adams). But last week when the nice-guy employee there went to ring me up, he discovered that their cash register was down, so he gave me the sandwich for free. So now for some stupid reason, I feel kind of guilty going back there. It was a $3 sandwich and it was clearly not my fault. That location won't go under because of my one free breakfast. But even though I tell myself it's no big deal in the grand scheme of Subway's profit margin, I feel weird going back there now. It's like I'm worried that there will always be this tension between us now like, "That girl owes me $3." So I found another Subway, just 1 block away from the other one (State, south of Adams). I went there this morning. Enter Creepy #3...

Creepy Subway Guy: What can I get for you?

Me: Egg white and cheese

CSG: That was yellow egg, right?

Me: No, white

CSG: And you wanted bacon on that?

Me: No, just cheese

I looked up at CSG and he had a big f#&king grin on his face...the light shining off his silver-capped tooth. Oh. He's messing with me. Great.

CSG: What else would you like on this?

Me: Just green pepper

He put 1 slice of pepper on the sandwich and grinned at me, like he was really proud of the joke he just pulled on me

Me: Umm....a little more than that.....(trying to be serious and not give into his pathetic attempt at humor)

CSG: (big creepy shiny grin) You said green pepperrrrr...not peppersssss (another BCSG)

Me: (annoyed smile) Oh...Peppersssss please

He put 1 more slice on

CSG: Now there are two peppersssss (BCSG)

Another annoyed look from me, and he then put the normal amount on. And as he was ringing me up said, "So, maybe you'll come back for lunch?"

I said, "....yeah....maybe......."

And got the hell out of there....forever.

I'll gladly give the other guy his $3 back.