Maintenance Issues

It's been pretty quiet here at work today. I don't know if everyone is still half-asleep after a lazy weekend, or if everyone is just really hard at work...or at least most people.

Because the silence was broken mid-morning by the sound of fingernail clippers hard at work. Three desks down the line from me is a guy who takes about five minutes every week to clip his fingernails. And what really gets me, is that he's not the only one. I can think of three other guys I've sat near who have consistently engaged in this habit. And I just don't understand what would make these offenders think this behavior was acceptable.

1. You are at work, therefore, you are here to work...not to take care of body maintenance. If I came to work tomorrow and started painting my toenails or waxing my eyebrows, I'm pretty sure someone would say something to me about it. Fingernail clipping is no different.
2. Why can't this be done at home? Are you that busy cooking and cleaning, taking care of your kids and your pets and maintaining your home every available minute of every single day that you can't take a five minute break once in awhile to clip your fingernails?
3. If you absolutely MUST do this at work, at least have the courtesy to do it in the bathroom. Not that I'm encouraging that approach either, but at least it's a compromise.

I briefly thought about typing an anonymous note and leaving it on this guy's desk. Something like, "FYI: It is disgusting to clip your fingernails at work. Please take that shit home." And that got me thinking about lots of other notes that I could leave for lots of other people like, "FYI: It's very rude of you to ask me a question and then start talking over me as I'm answering you," or "Please don't talk with your mouth full. No one wants to hear that."

In reality, I don't have the balls to do something that mean. I would be pretty embarrassed and feel really bad about myself if someone left me a note saying something like, "Your girly hand lotion smell is really bothersome."

So for now I will just keep my mouth shut. And what I can hope for with the fingernail cutter is that he 1.) doesn't progress to toenail clipping, and 2.) that a fingernail clipping will fly into my eye, blinding me incapable of doing my job, and I can retire on workman's comp for life.