Going Cosgrove

The last job I had before my current position was working for an architect. My duties there were designing and drafting residential additions and remodels, and drafting new residential and commercial spaces. I loved that job and was really sad to have to leave, due to the shitty economy making it difficult for the general population to spend money on custom homes. I had been given a heads-up by my boss that because of our drastic decrease in clients, he might have to lay me off within a few months, so that's how I ended up switching gears from architecture to engineering where I landed my current job. But while I was working at that architectural firm, I was forced to work with a real douchebag of a contractor, Mr. Cosgrove.

Our architectural firm had formed relationships with about 40 local contractors. It was the kind of thing where if a client came to us first and needed a contractor, we would make referrals from our list of builders, and if a client found one of those contractors first and was in need of an architect, that builder would refer the client to our company. So every once in awhile, we would do a project with Mr. Cosgrove as our client's builder.

This guy hated me from the start. I don't want to blame it all on the fact that I'm a girl (that only seemed to be part of the problem). It was also based on the fact that I was hired in an entry level position, with my knowledge mostly as an AutoCAD operator. I didn't really know too much about how a house was actually built. As I mentioned in a previous blog, my Interior Design education rewarded an "A" for being able to point to a furnace. My boss didn't see that as an issue though. He knew that everyone at the company had their own specialties and when you put all our individual skills together we made a great team. But Mr. Cosgrove expected everyone that he had to deal with to be as knowledgeable as he was. And with his 20-something years of building experience, there was just no possible way that I could ever live up to his high expectations.

In my first encounter with him, he popped into our office and asked who had been assigned to his project. I said that I was and he said he had some things to go over with me from our preliminary plans. He unrolled his set of drawings, and it looked like he had used an entire box of red pencils marking up comments, questions and changes, which he immediately began nailing me with. At one point, he questioned why I had called out a 32" door for the laundry room. I replied that was our company standard. The conversation continued:

Mr. C: "I've got a client with an oversized washer and dryer picked out. How the hell do you think I'm going to get those into a room with a 32" door opening?!"

Me: "Oh. Well we weren't aware of the client's appliance choices. It's no problem to make that a larger door to accommodate the washer and dryer size though, that now that we know about it."

Mr. C: .....*sigh*....."You clearly haven't been doing this very long, have you?"

Me: (a little stunned) "....No, not too long."

Mr. C: "What were you doing before this?"

Me: "I was in Interior Design school."

Mr. C: "Well I can pick out my own paint colors. What I need from my architect is someone who thinks through the details of how I'm actually going to be able to build what you draw on these plans. Is the boss around? I'm going to go talk to him about this."

He walked himself back to the boss's office and shut the door. They were in there for at least a half hour, after which the boss walked Mr. Cosgrove to the front door, shook his hand, and walked back to his office. He never said anything to me about the incident. Like I mentioned earlier, my boss was smart enough to know that not everyone in the office brought the same skills to the table. I was never assigned to another one of Mr. Cosgrove's projects after that, but I still had to finish what I started with that current job.

The second time I had to deal with Mr. Cosgrove was over the phone. He called and asked for me. I picked up the phone:

Mr. C: "I don't have my plans with me, but I need to know the dimension of the largest wall in the kitchen?"

Me: "I don't know that off the top of my head. Let me put you on hold a second while I grab your prints and look that up for you."

Mr. C: "Oh, forget it! Let me talk to O."

O got on the phone and Mr. Cosgrove said:

"I don't have my plans with me, but I need to know the dimension of the largest wall in the kitchen?"

O: "I don't know that off the top of my head. Let me put you on hold a second while I grab your prints and look that up for you."

Mr. C: "No problem. I appreciate your help. I can wait while you look it up."

O gave him the answer, hung up the phone, and said to me, "Why didn't he just ask you that?"

Me: "Because he's an asshole!"

O: "Yeah, apparently."

Me: "I hate that guy so much. I just want to smash his testicles into the ground!"

O: "Wow. I better not get on your bad side."

Later that week I was telling that story to one of my buddies and he said that I should make that my signature move (like if I was in GLOW)...smashing testicles into the ground...and that I should call the move "Going Cosgrove."

It's no Alabama Slammer, but it's still pretty awesome. So guys...don't get on my bad side :)