Fanatic by Association

I couldn't care less about sports. My parents aren't sports fans so it was never something that I grew up around, and I'm not athletic so I never had any interest in playing sports. My lack of love for the game however, puts me in such a minority that I've discovered it makes things somewhat easier to just pretend that I do have an interest in sports.

Plus, my husband is the biggest sports fanatic that I've ever met. Ever. He's most likely the biggest sports fan that you've ever met too. His knowledge of sports trivia blows my mind. You could ask him a totally obscure question like, "Who was the MVP of the Kansas State Junior Women's Volleyball team in 1972?" and my husband would effing know the answer (if that is something that even exists, since I know zero about sports...).

So for the record, during baseball season I root for the Yankees (because my husband is a Yankees fan), during hockey season I root for the Blackhawks (because everyone in Chicago roots for the Blackhawks), during basketball season I root for the Lakers (because Anthony Kiedis is from L.A.), and during football season I'm a "fan" of U of M and the Indianapolis Colts.

My choice to cheer for Michigan was an easy one. I was born in Ann Arbor and when it comes to sports, most people seem to cheer for their home team. I only lived there until I was about 9 months old, but my parents had been there for quite a few years and they were Blue fans even after we moved to another state, so it seemed reasonable enough for me to like the team too.

And Michigan was coincidentally a team that my husband has been a fan of since childhood, so when I mentioned something about liking the team he got all excited that we had something sports-related in common. For his 30th birthday I took him to his first game at The Big House and we both had a really great time. I however, enjoy going to games for a different reason. I don't understand the rules of football, and everything happens so fast. I feel like when a flag is thrown, I seem to be the only person in the stands who didn't see the false start, or the guy who grabbed someone's face mask, or the guy who's pinky toe went out of bounds. So in my constant confusion, I find that for me going to a game is really all about singing along with the marching band or participating in The Wave.

It's gotten to be that time of year again where I can pull out my Michigan fleece from the coat closet and put on my Colts winter knit cap and wear them around like I care about the team's stats. It got awkward enough when someone at the train station asked me if Michigan had won that past weekend and I didn't know the answer, so I downloaded a Michigan app and an NFL app on my phone so that I can check the scores without actually having to bother watching the games. And I pay attention to things my husband mentions or things that I read on Facebook about my teams so that I can participate in sports conversations at work, chiming in things like, "Where was their defense?" or "Eli Manning is such an asshole!"

And my liking of the Colts has absolutely nothing to do with sports at all. And I'm really just a Peyton Manning fan, not actually a Colts fan. And my liking of Peyton Manning is not at all because he's an excellent QB. It's because I saw him host SNL and he was really funny. So yes, I root for the Colts because Peyton Manning is funny. If he ever left the Colts, I would start rooting for whatever team he went to. And if he has to quit playing due to his neck problems, I guess I will just have to wait for another pro football player to host SNL and make me laugh.