A couple weeks ago I decided to join L.A. Fitness. Upon arrival, the receptionist took my basic info and directed me to the waiting lounge where someone would be with me shortly for a tour and membership info. I sat in one of the two unoccupied chairs, next to a 40ish man and woman who were together. I could hear them whispering to each other:
Guy: I'm just going to ask her.
Gal: No. Leave her alone.
Guy: No, it'll be fine. I'm just going to ask her....Excuse me...
Me: Yes?
Guy: I was just wondering...are you a Jehovah's Witness?
Me (stunned...as I expected that he was only going to ask me for directions to someplace): No
Guy: Catholic? (posed as more of a statement than a question actually, since I guess Catholic is probably the most common religion)
Me: No
Guy (somewhat shocked that I wasn't Catholic): Jewish?
Me: No
Guy (even more shocked that he hadn't guessed it yet): Seventh Day Adventist?
Me: No
Guy: Can I ask...do you believe in the Lord, Jesus Christ?
Me: Nope
Guy (with shocked laughter): Really?! Well then what do you believe in?
Me: Myself
Guy (jaw dropping, as if that was the most ludicrous thing he'd ever heard): Well...how does that work?
Me (confused look and shoulder shrug, as I didn't know how to explain that believing in yourself is probably one of the best things anyone should practice)
Guy: Well then, are you Buddhist?
Me: ...No...
Guy: Hindu?
Me: ...No (didn't I already make myself clear???)
Guy: So...you're an Atheist??
Me: Yeah
Guy: (shaking his head) Wow!
Just then, the club representative came over to get me. By the time I left, the couple was no longer in the waiting area.
The first time I can remember being taken to church was at the age of 5. My parents would drop off my 8-year-old sister and I at Sunday School, and they would attend the church service...or so we thought. We found out years later that my parents would actually just drop us off, go out for breakfast, and come back in an hour to pick us up. My sister almost caught on one time, noticing that the car was parked in a different spot than where we'd left it before church. But my dad quickly explained away any doubt...that he'd forgotten money for the collection plate and had to go home to get some. Sounded reasonable to my 5-year-old self.
But I don't think it was too long before I started asking my mom for an explanation about how we knew of God's existence. If he wasn't living down here on Earth, and we couldn't see Him, or hear Him, or talk to Him, what would make us think he existed. And my mom responded, "You just have to have faith."
But that concept of blind faith never caught on for me. Upon expressing my doubt, the subject was brought up with my sister, who also wasn't really buying into the whole God thing, and thus ending our Sunday School days. And as I got older, I decided that it seemed much more reasonable to believe in myself...not in some guy who hadn't bothered to show up in 2000 years. And so I proclaimed myself an Atheist.
I feel like most of my acquaintances however, do believe in God. So I sometimes find myself in an awkward position of having to justify to people why I'm not religious. I feel like admitting my Atheism stereotypes me in "God's" eyes as stupid, conceded, ignorant, disobedient, and lacking any sort of morals or character. People can believe in God--no questions asked because it's such a popular following. But being the only person in the world who believes solely in Lauren, well that's just one person against the world--so why should anyone else have faith in that I guess.
To be clear, I do admit to pretty much total ignorance about the "facts" and faiths of religion. I've never read the Bible and I'm not even up-to-speed on some of the major Christian holidays. But book-knowledge aside, I've had experiences with religious people that have made me very happy in my lack-of-faith-in-God path. For example...
I used to work with a woman who was extremely Christian. She was a member of a church group, she volunteered at services, and she attended church at least once a week. One afternoon at work, she excitedly approached me saying:
E: Lauren, you will never believe this, but a MIRACLE just happened to me!!
Me (knowing this would be a religious conversation, I tried to keep my natural sarcastic responses to a minimum): Wow, what happened?
E: Well, I had gone out to run errands during my lunch hour, and the next thing I knew, my lunch hour was almost over and I realized that I didn't have enough time to stop anywhere for food if I was going to make it back to my desk in time. I thought I was just going to have to eat crackers at my desk. But then...GOD reminded me that I had leftovers in the fridge at work! So I made it back here in time to heat up my food here and eat at my desk!
Me: ...............
She happily went back to her desk to marvel in the "miracle" that had just been "blessed" upon her, and it left me wondering...
Really? You think that was a MIRACLE? I mean...WTF?? Is that what religion teaches you? How about this...there was no fucking MIRACLE. You have a brain! And your brain was smart enough to recall on its own that you had leftovers in the fridge at work. How about that fuckin' theory!? And furthermore, if God was performing any miracles that day, he sure as fuck had more important issues at hand than making sure this rather obese woman didn't have to settle for crackers for one fucking meal. Is that seriously what they teach you in church? That you aren't allowed to take any fucking credit for even the tiniest little thing that happens? How fulfilling of a life could that possibly be, feeling that everything you accomplish wasn't really even your accomplishment...that it was only possible because of God's hands in the mix?
Seriously, Christians...if that's religion...then I sure don't want ANY fucking part of that bullshit!
